Tommorow

Ugh. I can't believe it's already time. Lola is almost 10 weeks and I have such mixed emotions about going back to work. But, I have to go back. I HAVE to. I'm the breadwinner and we need the income...plus, never in a million years did I think I would consider being a stay-at-home mom. I LOVE my job. Seriously, I do and I am (or was) a total workaholic. As cheeseball as it sounds, I can't believe I found something that I love more than work - my little Lola. But, I always find that I perform better when multi-tasking. I believe this will be true with motherhood as well.

And even though I was feeling out of my element for weeks, I finally feel like I've figured her out. Now that things are easier, it's over. I feel like I shouldn't complain because we're not placing her in daycare. In order to make nursing a bit easier, I will be telecommuting in the morning 3x a week. Josh will be with her in the morning and also in the afternoon when I go into the office, (and I thought that this arrangement would provide me with a sense of peace about the situation), but anxiety has hit me full force this afternoon and I'm damn near in tears about the thought of returning to work.

I'm going to miss hanging out with the little bean.